We're about to launch OMFFGBF! Watch Dave be hilarious and weirdly perceptive about Gossip Girl! Be astounded by Eric's incisive wtfs! Amuse yourself with girls who like boys who like boys who hate Gossip Girl.
Note: Trying out the video chat option. Didn't work out as well as FB. Probably reverting back next time.
Commercial Break #1: The guys wonder about black people. "It's OK. They're from Chicago."
Commercial Break #2: I explain about Bart Bass, as Eric (rightly) expresses his concerns that no man born to the UES would ever be named "Bart".
Commercial Break #3: "There was almost a fight. And then it didn't happen. :( ... I almost thought Batman was going to come in. But then no."
Commercial Break #4: "None of this makes sense! Was that supposed to be a major plot twist? The music made it sound like it was a major plot twist."
"Wellllll... only if you care about this plotline. Nobody does."
"Wait so you know which plotlines people care about? I'm starting to think you don't watch this ironically."
"Dude no I love this show!"
"...that makes some of this conversation awkward."
Commercial Break #5: "So what is with that guy's eyebrows."
"HE IS BEAUTIFUL LIKE A BUTTERFLY."
"I love the way when they don't have a good way to transition from afternoon to night, they just do anyway."
And the transcript - starts late:
a
(21:04:13) Eric i have arrived
(21:04:18) Dave indeed
(21:04:24) Dave rachel has decided to download digsby now
(21:04:27) Dave technology is a bitch
(21:04:31) Eric fuck
(21:04:37) Dave what is even going on in this show
(21:04:42) Dave other than some piece of paper == kiss
(21:04:44) Eric they are eating gummy animals for breakfast
(21:05:11) Dave that guy doesn't touch kids.
(21:05:22) Dave and that lady isn't a huge bitch
(21:05:25) Eric wait...his succession rights?
(21:05:40) Dave rachel says "she is dating a prince"
(21:05:46) Eric oh. well then
(21:05:55) Dave and here she is
(21:06:00) Eric wow. the red dressed girl is a giant bitch
(21:06:01) Dave "maxi dresses"
(21:06:02) Dave i doubt that
(21:06:18) Dave look at these fucking necklace
(21:06:22) Dave where are their slap braces??
(21:06:39) Dave oh, this guy. "Evil Uncle Jack"
(21:06:44) Eric black people!
(21:06:48) Dave "he likes to convince chuck to have suicide" - rachel
(21:07:01) Dave don't get used to black people
(21:07:03) Dave there are only one.
(21:07:04) Dave just one.
(21:07:06) Dave and she's rich
(21:07:07) Dave by accident.
(21:07:11) Dave and a robot
(21:07:27) Eric i thought it was an alternate reality with reparations
(21:07:30) Eric Bass Industries?
(21:07:35) Dave yea, he owns a hotel
(21:07:36) Eric does this end with a radioactive spider?
(21:07:40) Dave and AIM just got mad i was sending too much shit
(21:07:49) Eric is that dude a Twilight vampire?
(21:07:49) Dave jack likes having sex on people - rachel
(21:07:51) Dave yes
(21:07:58) Dave his life is a constant "talking like this contest"
(21:08:15) Eric i get stoked about fundraisers too
(21:08:33) Eric i bet you $500 she goes off her meds
(21:08:36) Dave i'm video calling you
(21:08:36) Eric always off her meds
(21:08:37) Dave but muting it
(21:08:44) Dave princess of monoca??? - rachel
(21:08:59) Dave TECHNOLOGY!!!!
(21:09:08) Dave these people are SOOO not french
(21:09:36) Eric that always happens
(21:09:40) Eric find a man, lose weight
(21:09:41) Eric ALWAYS
(21:09:41) Dave "abooot losing weeeiiight???"
(21:10:01) Dave oh, jiggle blair jiggle
(21:10:18) Eric Marie Antoinette? that's a high-level reference
(21:10:21) Dave TURN YOUR SHIT DOWN
(21:10:24) Dave for commercial time
(21:10:26) Dave you damn fool!
(21:10:39) Eric wait...is my mic going?
(21:10:45) Dave we can hear you
(21:10:51) Eric uh oh
(21:10:54) Dave can you hear us?
(21:10:59) Eric no
(21:11:03) Dave really?
(21:11:04) Dave oh damn
(21:11:06) Dave i said some funny shit
(21:13:15) Dave god
(21:13:18) Dave every fucking episode
(21:13:20) Dave Fundraisors
(21:13:22) Dave for what????
(21:13:30) Eric ooooo. she mad
(21:13:41) Dave "black tie" - did you invite your one black friend?
(21:13:43) Eric passive aggressiveness is a huge plot device here
(21:13:43) Dave cause otherwise...
(21:13:47) Eric hahahaha
(21:13:52) Eric black tie. black card
(21:13:57) Eric you lied to me about racial diversity on GG
(21:14:14) Eric God-Cousin? is that a thing?
(21:14:21) Dave oh boy, roof top
(21:14:23) Dave did you see The Room?
(21:14:26) Eric hahahaha
(21:14:29) Dave TIME FOR CAKE! THE TIME FOR CAKE IS OUTSIDE!
(21:14:32) Eric oh hai, rapist
(21:14:45) Eric oh, so the creep is the rapist's uncle?
(21:15:05) Dave "no idea",. yea, all of last night, sitting around
(21:15:07) Dave in his rape jacket
(21:15:09) Dave drinking scotch
(21:15:23) Dave someone's creeping!
(21:15:26) Eric half his wardrobe is velour
(21:15:27) Dave is it the french guy??
(21:15:42) Dave uh oh, second black guy
(21:15:46) Dave and it isn't samuel l jackson
(21:15:51) Eric oh, gay guy from Spin City
(21:15:55) Eric where's his ugly dog?
(21:16:16) Eric one of their characters is named Nate Archibald?
(21:16:20) Dave these black characters really represent chicago so well
(21:16:21) Dave yes.
(21:16:33) Dave Nate Archibald. the guy with the vagina sweaters. which you haven't had the pleasure of yet
(21:16:44) Dave Natanial Arhicboald
(21:16:50) Eric hahaha
(21:16:56) Eric Bart? these are not upscale names
(21:16:56) Dave fucking civil war name
(21:17:07) Dave "oh no, hte south done by rising again??? call nathanial!"
(21:17:26) Dave windows phone!!!
(21:17:43) Dave your face
(21:17:46) Dave SELLS THIS
(21:17:49) Dave finger ont he template
(21:17:52) Dave *temple
(21:17:57) Dave Deep in thought.
(21:18:06) Eric wow. i'm shocked by that
(21:21:19) Eric Rachel
(21:21:53) Rachel HELLO GENTLEMAN
(21:23:13) Dave ha
(21:23:15) Dave "and mute"
(21:23:18) Dave i love fundraisers
(21:23:30) Dave ornothology
(21:23:34) Eric wikipedia ornothologist
(21:23:38) Dave the study of 'creeping'
(21:23:42) Eric it's not what it sounds like
(21:23:47) Eric not the study of being 'orny'
(21:23:57) Dave a hugger
(21:24:02) Dave awesome, the party needed more of that.
(21:24:10) Eric wow. he almost motorboated
(21:24:16) Dave HAHAHAHA
(21:24:33) Dave a pink shirt on a french guy. no one saw that coming
(21:24:37) Rachel good job. now dave has the giggles forever
(21:24:39) Eric is the rapist's office a condemned building
(21:24:47) Dave might as well be
(21:24:52) Dave where else would he hide, while "scheming"
(21:24:58) Rachel it's ok, blair's dad is crazy gay. this makes sense.
(21:25:20) Rachel I SMASHED A WINDOW ONTO YOUR GF WITH IT THAT'S WHAT
(21:25:26) Dave damn, wish it was winter. thats when the vagina sweaters come out to play
(21:25:45) Dave d'aww, touching music
(21:25:51) Eric i feel sentiment
(21:25:58) Rachel oh, don't expect serena's mom to ever make an appearance this episode. the actress is pregnant, so lily is under "house arrest"
(21:26:16) Rachel "I WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE YOUR SKIN AND BE YOU IS THAT OK"
(21:26:18) Dave lipstick lasts longer, but gloss is fun?
(21:26:26) Eric so this is the plot of single white female?
(21:26:28) Rachel well it's true.
(21:26:34) Dave #firstworldproblems
(21:26:49) Rachel yes, dave, you have correctly outlined the summary of this entire show
(21:26:54) Dave "kibitizing"
(21:26:57) Eric she's missing 54 necklaces
(21:27:01) Rachel this show could be named #firstworldproblems
(21:27:12) Rachel OH NO ANGRY OLD LADIES
(21:27:30) Dave "she feeds the ducks" - rachel
(21:27:31) Eric hahahahaha. avian welfare
(21:27:36) Dave "thats how you kno wshe's a human person" - rachel
(21:27:47) Rachel it's a recurring plot point or whatever?
(21:28:06) Eric i thought their ugly dresses would get stuck to each other
(21:28:12) Dave .... they cut porcelion as wel
(21:28:14) Rachel WHAT how did the princess of monaco turn not evil
(21:28:26) Dave idk, i like short comic relief guy
(21:28:30) Dave mr. wikipedia
(21:28:34) Rachel this party's theme is "weird floral shit"
(21:28:37) Rachel yeah, you do!
(21:28:45) Rachel he's vincini! from princess bride!
(21:28:46) Rachel duh
(21:28:47) Dave scotch time for chuckles!
(21:28:52) Eric hahaha
(21:28:56) Rachel NEVER START A LAND WAR IN MANHATTAN
(21:29:11) Dave oh good, he's going to explain teh backstory
(21:29:12) Dave that'll save time.
(21:29:17) Eric thank goodness
(21:29:27) Rachel oh ok so
(21:29:30) Dave popped collar brigade
(21:29:32) Rachel chuck sold blair for a hotel
(21:29:34) Rachel it's a thing
(21:29:42) Eric wait...the princess to be slept with the rapist and his uncle?
(21:29:54) Eric and yet the Indian kid on 90210 has AIDS?
(21:29:55) Rachel i like it when nate acts tough. it's like... kittens who get all mad and puff up their furs
(21:30:09) Rachel the princess is in loooooovvve with the rapist
(21:30:28) Dave .....
(21:33:16) Dave in moderation
(21:33:28) Dave flower dress party for bitches
(21:33:40) Dave hug it out...
(21:33:46) Dave don't get yoruself caught on each others earings
(21:33:49) Eric hug it out, bitch
(21:34:09) Rachel her earrings are like... their own character
(21:34:11) Eric wait...that whole thing was an intervention?
(21:34:12) Dave so... they took him to rehab? that sounds plausible?
(21:34:19) Eric this isn't like Party of Five at all
(21:34:27) Rachel he is drunk all the time?
(21:34:32) Dave and here we are in someone's college dorm.
(21:34:48) Eric when you're a rapist, alcohol doesn't interfere with your job
(21:34:59) Dave it enhances it i hear
(21:35:12) Rachel wait what.
(21:35:25) Dave uh oh, call the feelings police
(21:35:40) Dave i think french prince can find someone better than this
(21:35:41) Rachel how dare you get slapped by that drunk rapist.
(21:35:58) Rachel whoa like every episode she's all "well if you want to break up that's fine"
(21:36:06) Dave "all of the parts of yo-self"
(21:36:09) Eric ewww
(21:36:11) Dave that doesn't make me uncomfortable
(21:36:12) Rachel and he's like "no let's not break up but how about you tell me more stuff about you"
(21:36:13) Eric ewwwwwwww
(21:36:29) Rachel and then they kiss
(21:36:37) Dave bonjour bitche
(21:36:44) Eric now i can only hear him as the guy from The Room
(21:36:49) Dave shame, serenas breasts didn't come to the party tonight
(21:36:50) Dave haha
(21:36:51) Rachel and he makes this face like "i guess i can do this if i have to to pretend to the world that i like kisisng girls"
(21:36:55) Dave "he is maaaah bet friend!!"
(21:36:56) Eric YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, BLAIR
(21:37:01) Rachel :D
(21:37:18) Eric the black man goes through the music collection
(21:37:19) Dave showdown
(21:37:31) Rachel WOW UNCLE JACK IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE THE EXPERT ON WOMEN!
(21:37:33) Dave "if you consider satan divine"
(21:38:21) Dave ths would have been waaaay better, if he had to wait for the elevator like a normal person
(21:38:28) Rachel OH NO
(21:38:35) Rachel BLACK GUY BLEW UP THE BUILDING
(21:38:46) Rachel you can tell he's a killer
(21:38:49) Rachel cause he's so black
(21:38:51) Eric PLOT TWIST
(21:43:29) Dave so much fundraising
(21:43:35) Dave "catirrrion???"
(21:43:51) Dave she is... not terribly shapely looking right now
(21:44:05) Rachel cotillion
(21:44:08) Eric intrigue
(21:44:15) Dave fight, please
(21:44:16) Rachel like because ladies are weird
(21:44:17) Dave someone slap someone
(21:44:32) Rachel i like it when dan acts sincere
(21:44:36) Eric now i'm going to screw her rotten
(21:44:41) Dave woah, can i get a refrdgerator like that?
(21:44:50) Rachel he was accidentally black
(21:45:33) Eric man. jungle fever
(21:45:45) Dave uh oh, i think it just found a resolution
(21:45:50) Dave this whole "wtf" plotline
(21:46:08) Rachel haha
(21:46:13) Rachel i thought that was a remote
(21:46:18) Rachel and he was trying to mute black guy
(21:46:22) Dave thorpe enterprises
(21:46:46) Dave wait, chuckles could have gotten some free shit
(21:46:53) Dave and he's all like "get ouf of my NY"
(21:47:01) Rachel dude's already a billionaire
(21:47:10) Dave this is like the 8th party that this girl has been at, where something has gone wrong
(21:47:18) Dave now it's up to the hunchback of upper NY to solve this for her??
(21:47:31) Rachel FOR THE PRINCESS
(21:47:34) Eric devoid of even a hint of sparkle
(21:47:35) Rachel TO THE DEATH
(21:47:39) Eric the very definition of first world problems
(21:47:48) Eric all the princesses
(21:48:01) Rachel i like it when she makes bette davis faces
(21:48:03) Dave i bet she has sweatpants with that written on the butt
(21:48:06) Rachel in response to sex stuff
(21:48:26) Dave those are some damn eyebrows
(21:48:36) Dave "oh me, eyebrows google"
(21:48:49) Dave "i moustache you a question"
(21:48:54) Rachel w/e chase crawford is beautiful xoxo
(21:49:02) Eric they go on for days
(21:49:22) Dave so this guy doesn't tuck his shirt in, but buttons it all the way up
(21:49:26) Dave omg, pills
(21:49:38) Dave oh thank god, another fundraiser
(21:49:39) Rachel yeah rufus is awful forever
(21:49:42) Rachel in so many ways
(21:50:07) Eric so they lef their afternoon party to go to an evening party?
(21:50:17) Rachel like you do
(21:50:25) Dave so many parties
(21:50:32) Dave oh good, Meet hte Browns i up next
(21:52:42) Dave KIS KISS
(21:53:12) Dave hello chat room again
(21:53:24) Rachel "i know you made me suicide once and made me hooker my girlfriend that other time but we're pals now"
(21:53:38) Rachel OH EFF DANG LIARS
(21:53:52) Rachel way to leave things open-ended raina
(21:54:04) Rachel so that now he will blame CHUCK BASS and not nate's beautiful eyebrows
(21:54:05) Eric you're as dead to me as your dead mutha
(21:54:46) Dave check yoru e-mail
(21:54:48) Rachel he recognized the back of vanessa's insane-person hair
(21:55:13) Dave it's a very scared ewic
(21:55:17) Eric thank you
(21:55:22) Dave just for you
(21:55:29) Dave oh noe
(21:55:33) Dave if htey have sexes
(21:55:39) Dave they better be careful of that 'whatever' dress
(21:55:42) Dave oh noes
(21:55:44) Rachel poor dan. so sane he had to date serena. times were tough.
(21:55:44) Dave they are going to make sex.
(21:55:53) Dave hello
(21:55:56) Dave "boobs"
(21:56:04) Eric that was quick
(21:56:07) Dave ewwww
(21:56:09) Eric ....
(21:56:16) Rachel her high school was less sanitary than my high school.
(21:56:20) Dave how was she wearing that under the golden dress????
(21:56:32) Dave "cal me serena"
(21:56:34) Dave ewww
(21:56:36) Dave double-eww
(21:57:29) Eric wow. i hope bad things happen to her
(21:57:32) Rachel i love blair so much
(21:57:36) Rachel "serena's cousin!"
(21:57:39) Dave "serenas cousin!!!"
(21:57:43) Rachel she doesn't care about names
(21:57:46) Dave i'm confused
(21:58:00) Dave "she was happy, ended pretty badly"
(21:58:26) Eric wait...who are the tweens?
(21:58:27) Dave roof time!
(21:58:29) Dave time for cake!
(21:58:30) Dave outside!
(21:58:45) Dave "oh hai blair"
(21:58:45) Eric they are going to toss the football in their tuxes
(21:58:50) Dave "oh hi chuckles"
(21:59:03) Dave !!!!!!!!!!
(21:59:04) Rachel OHNOES
(21:59:08) Rachel BLACK PEOPLE
(21:59:09) Dave murder time
(21:59:12) Rachel RUINERS OF THINGS
(21:59:20) Dave "forget everything you know ... about fairy tales"
(21:59:22) Dave f*cking easy!
(21:59:30) Dave "i'll serve your fairy tale
(21:59:34) Dave what.
(21:59:36) Eric hahahahah
